My cousin ordered a pizza for her and her little brother and it's actually the funniest story i've ever heard in my life. In her own words, this is what happened:
- Cousin: so, the pizza guy got here, and he was REALLY REALLY HOT and had a REALLY ATTRACTIVE VOICE
- Cousin: and he was like "your total is $16.38"
- Cousin: and I handed him a $20 and he was like "how much change do you want"
- Cousin: and I
- Cousin: just
- Cousin: stared
- Cousin: at him
- Cousin: for like 20 seconds
- Cousin: and he was like "how much change do you want?"
- Cousin: (IT GOES DOWN HILL. THIS IS NOT THE EMBARRASSING THING YET.)
- Cousin: and I'm like "$2? [awkwardly long pause] $1? ...... NONE"
- Cousin: NO CHANGE
- Cousin: AND I LITERALLY GRABBED THE PIZZA
- Cousin: AND SLAMMED THE DOOR
- Cousin: (STILL GETTING WORSE, DON'T WORRY)
- Cousin: ONCE THE DOOR HAS BEEN SLAMMED I REALIZE
- Cousin: THE PIZZA
- Cousin: IS
- Cousin: STILL
- Cousin: IN
- Cousin: THE
- Cousin: FUCKING
- Cousin: CARRYING BAG
- Cousin: AND FROM THE PORCH HE'S LIKE "um i need that back"
- Cousin: AND I'M LIKE SHIT MAN
- Cousin: AND I HAD TO OPEN THE DOOR
- Cousin: AND WAIT FOR HIM TO PULL THE PIZZAS OUT
- Cousin: AND HE'S JUST STARING AT ME
- Cousin: AND I'M DYING
- Cousin: AND IT TOOK LIKE A WHOLE 30 SECONDS
- Cousin: AND MY BROTHER COMES UP AND HE IS LIKE
- Cousin: SHE IS FLUSTERED CUZ SHE THINKS YOU'RE CUTE
- Cousin: AND I DECIDE THAT CLEARLY I NEED TO PUSH HIM BY HIS FACE
- Cousin: WHICH ONLY MAKES EVERYTHING WORSE
- Cousin: AND THAT IS WHY I CAN NEVER EVER EVER ORDER DOMINOS EVER AGAIN FOREVER
THIS IS FACT
What makes it even better is the one causing it is satan
i can’t even put into words how accurate this is
I bet this post has pretty much traumatized the male population of tumblr
“It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for – and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool – for love – for your dreams – for the adventure of being alive.”